MK Ultra’s most recent release, Original Motion Picture Soundtrack, has a unique and tragic background. The band was asked to write a movie soundtrack for a film being done by friend and director Tommy Borgnine. Working from the script, MK Ultra composed 14 songs to accompany the movie. Borgnine took a rough cut of his film to the Sundance Festival and secured a three-film distribution deal. Then tragedy struck. In a pivotal part of the screenplay, the hero’s girl is killed in a car accident. With life imitating art, Borgnine’s wife was killed in a similar manner. "He abandoned the film and went into hiding," Vanderslice said.
Daily Iowan
What does an independent musician who is under (way under) the cultural radar do to promote a new record? Well, you could go on tour, hire a publicist, take out ads; you know the usual time-consuming, wallet-draining, slightly boring things that everyone else does. Or you could come up with a hoax so devilish, silly and oddly resonant, that Wired and Spin call you at home for interviews. And (this is the strange part) when people find out about it you get even more press and people laugh and slap you on the back: "Oh, now I get it, it’s about the media, the death of fact checking, the inherent unreliability of internet news." Well…okay, yeah sure, why not?
Fall 1998
Teeny tiny little teens, keep pouring out of my machine, backdoors, passwords galore, only the hackers, only the Feds know…
My brother Ray, a programmer and web designer, asks me to write a song about a pedophile whose porn addiction reaches new heights of volume and recklessness on the internet. I write a song that goes a little further; our narrator blames his browser (Internet Explorer) and specifically Bill Gates (for making it easy, for bringing me here…Bill Gates must die). The song is not really about Microsoft, or for that matter Bill Gates, it’s a wacked out confession from someone who is going insane. Of course, I really do despise Microsoft, and I was soon to find out how many others dislike them as well.
Summer, 1999
The obvious question you have to ask Vanderslice. Are you nuts? "Absolutely, I'm out of my mind. It's funny, because I was strumming my guitar in my room and this song came to me, and I had no idea that it was going to blow up like this."
ZDNet
Josh Bloom, my bad ass radio publicist (and good friend), suggests we mail a CD to Microsoft to get some kind of reaction, hopefully a cease and desist letter or threatening phone call. After a few days of plotting the hoax, we decide that Microsoft will ignore any kind of communication and agree to act in their place. I draft a highly personal and inflammatory piece on bogus Microsoft stationary; Josh coolly rewrites a very convincing missive. "We are in receipt of your compact disc recording entitled Bill Gates Must Die," the letter begins. It’s from one K Judith Yearling, VP of Corporate Communications. Here I foolishly forget the CIA’s modus operandi: plausible deniability. Using a real employee’s name would have bought us a few more days on the wire; getting a real response would have kept the story alive indefinitely. Alas, the hoax was sloppy, almost slapdash, but that didn’t mean it wouldn’t be taken seriously or written about.
November 20, 1999
Barbara Mitchell, my lovely, loyal publicist agrees to go along with our wacked idea. She and Josh email and fax out to news contacts and outlets. I expect, at most, to get a humorous mention in the SF Weekly Riff Raff column.
December 7, 1999
Vanderslice isn't all that concerned about the lawsuit. "I'm just gonna write an even more inflammatory song about Microsoft," laughs Vanderslice. "I'm fearless. I'm a known instigator so I'm not really worried about it."
CD Now’s Allstarnews
CD Now’s Allstarnews grabs the bait: "The ruling fist of Microsoft has been slammed down on singer/songwriter John Vanderslice." The story, headlined "Seattle Indie Rocker Ruffles Microsoft's Feathers" gives us a preview of the dismal accuracy rate to follow (I live in San Francisco). In my phoner with Allstarnews, I stammer on like a kook: "I have caller ID on my phone and I got two calls from the 425 area code, which is Microsoft's area code, and my server has gone down twice in the past week. I could be just getting really paranoid, I don't know." I get phone calls from back east, where I grew up, and the emails start pouring in. Both the Seattle Rocket and The Stranger pick it up today.
December 12, 1999
San Francisco singer, lyricist, studio whiz, conspiracy theorist and noted prankster John Vanderslice suspected that something Orwellian was afoot a few weeks ago. "Some strange things were happening," he said. "My server was down, and I got a couple of hang-ups from the 425 area code,'' which serves Redmond, WA, home of Microsoft Inc.
SF Chronicle
Local musician and journalist (and good friend) Greg Heller interviews me for a feature in the SF Chronicle. Much to my amazement he slides it by the editorial board, who, as far as I can tell, are a little out of touch with reality. During the phoner, Greg and I are laughing so hard we can barely get through it. He writes I am "abrasive and rude" when asked if the letter is a phony; and he strongly implies this is another in a long line of hoaxes: "The band falsely marketed its 1995 release, Original Motion Picture Soundtrack, as the accompaniment to the unrealized directorial debut of Ernest Borgnine's son (fooling scores of national journalists) and later brewed up a colorful tale about purchasing the mixing board for its studio from a bathrobed Brian Wilson (fooling at least one local writer)." He ends the story with a denial from Microsoft press office that they have even heard of me. You’d think this (and the article’s title: "Prankster Takes On Microsoft") would kill the story. Oh, no…not in this age of collective ADD. It was just about to start…
December 13, 1999
<yeah kill fucking bill gates, you are the fucking man. do you need warez??? anything dude, I got everything on hotline. hackerz of the world unite.>
Anonymous email
My email In Box has 79 messages and my voicemail is full. The story has a life of its own now; I’m contacted by Entertainment Weekly, New York Magazine, Kansas City Weekly, SF Weekly, Spin, and countless others. I mean, this is ridiculous, almost no one gets the hoax; even John Tyner, the ex-MK Ultra guitar player who did the Microsoft graphics on the disc, calls to see if I’m in real trouble.
In interviews I mention the strange noises I hear on my telephone line, how once in a while I get an odd voice repeating numbers instead of a dial tone. I pull mp3s from a spy satellite web site and post it on johnvanderslice.com, where I have recently started a "Microsoft Archive." I get dozens of emails from people trying to help me decode the woman’s disembodied voice: "Foxtrot, alpha…"
Mark Athatakis, the music editor from the SF Weekly, calls and, in a true moment of weakness, I give him a direct denial. He just did a feature on my studio, Tiny Telephone, and he is too close (and nice) to lie to. Plus, being a media ‘ho, I know this garners me a sixth showing in the wonderful Riff Raff column.
The story is wearing on me and my insomnia is getting intense. In a strange turn, I become extremely paranoid and stop answering the phone. Well almost, at the end of the day Wired Magazine shows up on my Caller ID, I pick up: "Yes I can meet you tonight for an interview…"
December 14, 1999
Bill Gates is a great man, what have you ever done?? I don’t know why you think you can say the things you do, you should be soooo ashamed. If you meet him tell him about me. I like to ride horses and…
Emily, 14, Clearwater, FL
ZDNet calls and wants to film me tomorrow for ZDTV, using Tiny Telephone as the location. Can you say media coup? The only problem: my clear denial in the SF Weekly will run soon and how could they miss that? I call Josh frequently for pep talks, I can’t do this anymore, I have to cancel my 3pm phoner… it’s coming down, they know now, they have to. Josh talks me down: "It doesn’t matter, it’s a great story either way."
The story runs in dozens of webzines and countless weblogs; there is so much traffic hitting us the server slows down. Almost a thousand mp3s a day are streaming from the site.
December 15
The scrappy rocker has hired his own lawyer and isn't worried about the prospect of having to face Bill Gates in court. In fact, Vanderslice is looking at the conflict as a kind of civics lesson. "It might be fun. Who knows, it might be an incredible journey through the American legal system."
ZDTV
Liam Mayclem, a very sweet, funny English bloke from ZDTV, arrives with his crew at Tiny Telephone. As he gets out of the truck I see he has the SF Chronicle article, heavily highlit, on his clipboard. I think: Shit, I’m busted, they’re gonna rake my ass on camera! I am visibly nervous, very shaken, and probably talking way too much. What else can I do but continue? We set up the camera and mics, he asks me a few questions to get things rolling. I think: Oh, he knows it’s a hoax and he’s just playing along. Wow, this is strange, is this now a story about fooling ZDNet, or is the crew just helping me out? Or maybe Liam is just making me comfortable and when the cameras roll, he’s gonna come in for the kill. Liam asks, "Well MK Ultra was well known for pulling hoaxes, why are we supposed to believe you this time. Is this a media stunt? Is this a hoax?" "I wish it was, I’m really scared." And I was.
December 17
The four-minute interview will run twice on ZDTV today. This morning, I do follow-up interviews with Spin and Wired. From here on, the hoax quickly unravels, and although this is sad, it’s certainly not surprising: it was so poorly constructed I’m amazed we made it this far. I deeply regret not getting a real response from Microsoft, or at least not trying to; then I could’ve milked this story for months.
The emails pour into my computer, and now everything is just like the song: My computer is driving me crazy. I have done nothing but return emails and try to keep the story alive. At this point, it’s truly pathetic. My family thinks I’ve lost it, my girlfriend avoids me, it’s all I can talk about: "Damn if we could only have used a real employee’s name, or gotten a fucking letter, or anything, we coulda got Time Magazine." Why I was so obsessed, I can’t exactly remember. I can say that seeing your own private fiction in print is a powerful thing.
December 19
Liam, from ZDNet and calls, he’s deathly ill with the flu and heading to SFO for a UK redeye. "Was this a hoax John? Did you make it up?" He sounds beaten, and a real regret, a child’s shame pours over me. I cannot answer. I…I…I thought you knew… He puts the phone down to speak to his editor. Pause. "It’s okay John, it’s alright." The interview runs again tonight, this time with a retraction. The emails cascade into my iMac. Wired knows. It’s over.
December 21
I am so happy to leave San Francisco and go home to Maryland. My brother, a Linux-loving programmer who runs a real business, chastises me for having no "plausible deniability." I am his alter ego who can afford to do stupid stuff. I know, next time I’ll…
Over the break, I go to a few Christmas parties and all of my high-school friends ask me about the case. And no one is very clear as to whether it was real or a hoax, true or false.